Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
