i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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