It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
