Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
