I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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