yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
