Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
