I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
