i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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