They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
