I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
