I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
40s are totally the cure
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
