He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
