Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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