you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
