If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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