What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
