He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
