Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
