I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
