just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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