Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
