we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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