i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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