you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He better not be in your backpack
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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