You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
