Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
