I wannas sexs uuuuu
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
