I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
