I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
