I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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