I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
