halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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