You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
