38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
MIDGETS
????
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
