the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
