Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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