Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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