How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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