And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Congratulations! We have a period
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
