4 words: hood of his car
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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