i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want to make a zoo with you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
