idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
