So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
