you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
