Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
