Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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