she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i believe in u and ur pee
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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