I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
