So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
