She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
