Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Mom said you looked used
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
