My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
